Thursday, February 22, 2007

The Procrastination Continues...

I had this great post planned about my recent trip to Miami, complete with a list of excuses as to why I couldn't squeeze in any checking e-mail/blogging time. However, seeing as this post has been in the "edit" stage since last week (I think... I worked both Saturday and Sunday so the line between weeks is blurring... the calendar says Tuesday but my body swears it's Friday) I decided to go ahead and post the highlights, and if it's not the most brilliant post ever, oh well.

I love Miami. If you were only to hang around the airport and then head straight to South Beach, you would think yourself in a place that's a cross between South America and France. It would never cross your mind you were in the States. Even the use of the flag is quite sparse compared to other American cities I've been to. Walking around and eavesdropping on all the Spanish and French conversations around me (yes - French. In Target I overheard a bunch of Parisian tourists ooing and aaahing over some Issac Mizrahi for Target stuff. Parisian, fashion-capital-of-the-world dwellers in Target. Buying clothes), strolling along the very Côte-d'Azure-like Ocean Drive, with it's roller-blading parks and beaches to one side, and trattoria-style eateries on the other, not to mention the phenomenal shopping, is my idea of heaven.

It's almost a blessing that there are hardly any decent shops here in Cayman because it justifies my occasional popovers across the pond.

On this particular popover, I happened to catch this flick:



If you're a writer and you like chick lit and rom coms DO NOT MISS THIS ONE! If only to see Hugh Grant in a George Michael-esque get-up, shaking his bon-bon enough times to make you feel like a cigarette after the movie. Drew Barrymore, if not at her acting best, is a believable writer who we can identify with, and it's nice to see creative angst dramatized on screen. The video around which the whole script is anchored, "Pop Goes My Heart" is absolutely hilarious. There's not much I can tell you about the plot that you wouldn't have gleaned already from the previews so I won’t linger much longer on this topic other than to repeat: do yourself a favor and see this one if you need a change from the message-heavy Oscar offerings this year. Besides the hilarity, tight pants on Hugh Grant, and 80’s soundtrack, it’s also a pretty good light chick lit/romance characterization study. You could easily, if you were so inclined, break it down into a three act structure complete with well-motivated hero/heroine character arcs, black moments, etc. Being the writer-geek that I am, I won't say the thought didn't cross my mind...

Other memorable moments from this trip include the discovery of Sawgrass Mills outlet mall. I have a deep aversion to outlet malls which probably stems from tragic childhood memories searching through racks and racks of junk labeled “Tommy Hilfiger” and “Calvin Klein” which somehow bore no resemblance whatsoever to anything I’d seen at the mall, past or present. Sawgrass Mills is a complete other universe of outlet shopping. Case in point: a very cute Miss Sixty top for $10, marked down from $100. No visible defects, and a cornucopia of sizes. No changing hurridly behind two racks of clothing and digging through piles of rubbish either – except for the prices and the word “Outlet” describing the mall, you’d never know you were in one.


Besides that, it's been work, work and more work. Which brings me to the big questions: To write full-time, or not to write full-time.

They say that you can ALWAYS carve out time to write if you really wanted to, and you don't have to quit your day job. That may be so, but consider this: the day job ate up 52 hours this week, excluding lunch hour and commuting time. I'm not one of those writers who can do 15 minutes here and there. It takes me that much just to get into the mood. Besides the required 2 - 3 writing hours I need to put in daily, I've a book to promote and just a few months left to do it in. Yes, I probably could make some time to write while working full-time, but I'd have to give up the gym, cooking, reading, and any semblance of a social life.

I've got a big decision to make...

Tuesday, February 13, 2007

Top Ten Chick Lit Picks, Scrunchies, and How Not to Write a Book

I’m deviating a little from Top Ten Tuesday today by posting someone else’s top ten. Most influential chick lit books that is. Karin Gillespie posted this list on her blog earlier, but I thought it deserved a mention here too (if only to provide you with a great chick lit website… I’ve been wandering cyberspace aimlessly, searching for such a site since the very unfortunate demise of Rian Montgomery’s excellent chicklitbooks.com)

So, what do you think? I’ve read six and half-read two (Sex & the City; In her Shoes). How about you?

I’ve been meaning to read Nick Hornby for ages. I haven’t seen High Fidelity the movie (bows head in shame) but I loved About A Boy to pieces. Will this list finally get me to do it? I’m hopeful, but realistic. With my TBR pile growing into mythical proportions, it’s highly unlikely I will get around to this in 2007 unless someone makes me.

I can’t believe Thirtynothing made the cut… I LOVED, ABSOLUTELY LOVED that book. Plus it was one of the very first chick lits I read (which, come to think about it, may be why I loved it so much in the first place), back in the dark ages of the genre when you had to search through heaps of books, reading back cover blurb after back cover blurb (publishers hadn’t discovered the wonders of bright pastel colored covers yet) to find something that might be “chick lit” (the term was only being bandied about in small, under-the-radar circles). The novel sort of follows the framework of a romance in that it alternates hero and heroine points of view, but what’s written would make a staunch, dyed-in-the-wool traditional romance reader pinch her nose in disgust. Just the opening scene describing a one-night stand is classic. And it’s chock full of that biting British wit that turned me onto Chick Lit in the first place.

Now I’d like to interrupt this blog for a public service announcement concerning the Dixie Chicks, who, in my humble opinion, embody all that chicks should stand for. It isn’t about whether you hate George Bush or not, it’s about speaking your conscience even if what your conscience has to say happens not to be so popular… at the time (people who indulge in this sort of behavior are notorious for getting the last laugh. If they’re lucky, it will happen in their lifetime). I’m not a country music fan but all this hoopla surrounding the Dixie Chicks (not to mention how they’ve turned the big-hair-and-enough-glitter-to-fill-five-barns female country singer cliché on its head) is making me very curious about their music. Plus I’m in the mood for something a little more wholesome for the soul than my steady diet of reggaeton.

Now, what does all this have to do with scrunchies? Well, to be honest, nothing, but I couldn’t resist bragging (this one’s for you too Dona!). It seems that if you hold on to any trend long enough you will in fact be rewarded with a comeback. Check this out my friends. Dona, Sienna, Mary-Kate and I have joined the ranks of women who are defying Carrie Bradshaw’s universal diss of scrunchies, and donning them with pride. Anyone can turn any fashion item into a fashion faux pas, so I still say wearing a scrunchie with a fancy suit to a NYC restaurant (like the woman in that infamous SATC episode) is a huge fashion DON’T. But to accessorize today’s legging-and-oversized-tunics combos? Pourquoi pas? Just make sure they’re not made out of denim or are covered with Hello Kittie motifs.

Onto our final topic (how’s that for a transition?), in an effort to motivate you in case you are as stuck in your writing as I am at the moment, I’ve just stumbled on a great blog by writer Maureen Johnson, and her montage of the writing process (with a deadline looming) is priceless. And man is this a crazy process. I cannot tell you where my brainstorming of this current book is taking me. I think if I don’t decide on a course of action and go with it, I could be plotting and planning forever.

Has anyone figured out how to decide on a path when you’ve brainstormed yourself into a maze? I’d love to know…

Friday, February 09, 2007

The Oscars Bandwagon

Every year I promise myself to watch most of the movies up for Oscars so I can actually debate the merits of one over the other instead of cheering on the only one I happened to have seen but alas I’ve failed again.

So, let me rant about the three movies I did manage to see, that are getting a nod.

Little Miss Sunshine. The girls over at booksboysbuzz.com have done a great job blogging about this one, and it really was one of the best movies of the year. Not sure if the kid deserves an Oscar though… I’d give it to the screenwriter, maybe the director, and quite possibly Steve Carell (who brings comic genius to every role he plays, including cartoon voices). Greg Kinnear was great, as always (LOVED him in The Matador – another hilarious movie that flirts with the dark side – and succeeds). Toni Colette was also fabulous (isn’t she always?) as was the sulky teenager and the coked-up grandfather.

But here’s the deal: I think all these actors are genuinely talented to begin with, so it was really this rich, subtle, nuanced and very well written story that gave them an opportunity to shine. As writers, we could probably learn a a lot from a movie that takes the most ordinary of families and mundane of circumstances to Oscar level entertainment.

Dreamgirls. Do NOT get me started. Hated it, hated hated it (before you hate ME I’ll tell you where this venom comes from. I think if threre weren’t any Oscar buzz around this movie, I would’ve said it was cute and mildy entertaining, not a total waste of $10. The costumes were beyond fabulous. I really felt I was in the 50s, 60s, 70s (loved those 70s…) and 80s. I loved how Beyoncé’s voice was constantly getting dissed – kudos to her for putting up with it. But Jennifer Hudson??? Just because it was her first time acting does not mean she deserves an Oscar. These aren’t the A-for-effort awards. She WAS good for a first timer, but not once in that whole movie did she move me, touch me, or elevate my thinking to another level, like say, Eddie Murphy, who did in fact deliver an Oscar worthy nuanced and layered performance (you really saw his character change over the span of the movie… can’t say the same for Hudson’s).

Blood Diamond. Now THIS is a movie that deserves an Oscar, if only for shining the spotlight on a difficult subject. That everything else is so great about it is gravy: the tight screenplay, the sweeping, breathtaking shots of Africa, and every single actor, from the little boy who gets kidnapped and recruited into a rebel guerilla to Leo’s incredible body and spot-on Zimbawean accent (yes, lots of people from Zimbabwae and South Africa living here in the Caymans, so I can judge).

The criticism I’m hearing about this movie is that it was too violent. I can’t tell you how much this annoys me. Life isn’t a slightly grittier version of Disneyland, people. Most continents are riddled with very serious, ugly, life-threatning problems. Diamonds are just one of them (one guy in the movie, looking at the dead bodies littering the street after a rebel raid, remarks: “Thank God we don’t have oil”. Coming from the Middle-East, I find that pretty ironic). It’s important tobe exposed to these issues. How else are you going to learn to put things into perspective? Not watching a movie depicting people getting limbs machete’d off in the name of the “blood diamonds” is not a stand a violence in the movies. It’s just wilful ignorence. To be honest, there are scenes where I had to look away, butit didn’t take anything away from the experience. I learned so much. Like, for instance, did you know that the big diamond cartels – such as De Beers – used to buy up those “conflict diamonds” that rebels obtained illegally (i.e horrifically) so the flood of cheap diamonds would not bring down their market price?

Let me put it another way: rebel gangs raid villages in Africa, ensalve people into working the diamond mines, try and sell these mined diamonds on the free market so they can purchase weapons, a big company like De Beers buys them up so that diamonds, a commodity like wheat, oil and gold, stays at a certain (high) price. Doesn’t that make you mad??? The only people who aren’t getting a totally raw deal out of this sordid mess are the companies that rake in profits from bling-bling loving schelps like us (I’m convinced De Beers came up with the ‘two-months’ salary rule).

What those people who didn’t like Blood Diamond under the pretext of “violence” missed is that at the end, after all the spilled guts and gangs and drugs and corruption, Blood Diamond was actually uplifting. It sent a very powerful message. That ordinary people like us, can and do make a difference, with every thought, every action, and every purchase.

The movie is set a few years ago, just before a special law was passed which specifically addressed the misery surrounding the trade of “conflict diamonds” on the free market. As a result of this international law (which is just a few years old, remember), only 15% of diamonds on the market nowadays are thought to be “conflict diamonds”. That’s still a high number, but think how high it would have been if regular people hadn’t been made aware of, and then enraged at what their money was buying.

To me, the key message wasn’t “don’t buy diamonds”, it was “you can and do make a difference”. Just think about how positive, how empowering this is.

If that doesn’t convince you to see Blood Diamond, maybe this will: Leonardo DiCaprio has never looked hotter.

Tuesday, February 06, 2007

Top Ten Tuesday

I was tagged earlier today by Dona, so here goes.

Top Ten Totally Random Things You Don’t Know About Moi…

1. I did most of my traveling before age 10, tagging along with my parents to places like Greece and Spain. That all came to an end when we immigrated to Canada, and I was actually of age to remember something of my travels.

2. I speak four languages: English, French, Arabic, and Spanish (my hands-down favorite is Spanish)

3. My mother is an amazing dancer who used to do all kinds of interpretive new-agey dance routines in college that would make a shy accountant like me cringe. Much to her dismay, I was afflicted with two left feet during my entire childhood and teenage years (since Arab women belly dance when they get together – don’t ask – my total lack of gracefulness was there for the entire Turkish-coffee-sipping community to see). Then I went to Cuba and fell in love with salsa music. I can now dance circles around my mother. Oh, Revenge, how sweet thou art.

4. I am a soup person. Specifically, “cream of” anything soup. If I could eat only one thing for the rest of my life, it would be soup. Or cheese.

5. My senior high school year boyfriend planned on majoring in accounting while I was convinced I would go into marketing. I made fun of his academic aspirations on a regular basis. I am now an accountant.

6. I taught myself fashion illustration at the age of 11 by tracing Katy Keen comics (anyone remember her?) I got pretty darn good at it too, and I was THIS CLOSE to picking fashion design as a career path. Please don’t ask how I went from that to accounting.

7. I have a secret, shameful love of scrunchies (sorry, SJP). Nothing feels nearly as good in my super-dry, over-processed long hair. At least I live on a rock in the middle of the ocean where nobody cares.

8. I used to be “tall for my age” (I’m now barely 5’2”). In my defense, I am taller than Shakira (who stands at 4’11”) and am about the same height as Selma Hayek, Penelope Cruz and Paula Abdul, so there.

9. I hated everything about Dreamgirls except the costumes.

10. I am late for absolutely everything. Most people I know were rolling over in laughter when they found out the title of my first novel, FASHIONABLY LATE (which, if you ask my friends, should be changed to SHAMEFULLY LATE).


Shannon Mckelden, you're up!

Sunday, February 04, 2007

Amazing News...

The news I've been waiting for almost a year now finally came a few days ago... thanks to my amazing, Arabic-speaking Midwestern, world-traveling editor Paul, I have a contract for two more books with TOR/Forge!!!! Weeeeeeee!!!!!

Having one book on the shelves is incredible enough, but THREE???!!! I feel blessed beyond reason. I have no idea what I've done or what lucky star I was born under to have this amazing opportunity, but here's how I plan to make the absolute best of it: I am officially putting an end to my pessimism, and believing in myself and my abilities.

Alisa VR blogged about writers' apparent predisposition to melancholy, depression, and general pessimism. It makes sense to me, this phenomenon. Writers are observers, people who sit just a little outside the circle of normality, people who question everything and are full of wonder. Well, if ignorance is bliss then truth-seeking must be a little taxing on the soul. And while some people can push away uncomfortable thoughts to the backs of their minds with a a bit of help from sports or shopping or work or whatever, I think what makes writers different is that they can't. The inquisitiveness just keeps coming back, together with the feelings of unease that come with it. Add to that the fact that a writer's journey is paved with rejection. It's enough to discourage anyone. And if you've attained some measure of success, the pressure doesn't magically disappear: you're then plagued with the belief that the first time was a fluke, and that you'll never manage to pull it off again.

No more. I'm going to believe that I'll be able t pull this off, and give writing the place it deserves in my life - not just a hobby, but a very serious, worthy pursuit.

...And what kind of good news would be complete without a little splurge? Check this out:

Thursday, February 01, 2007

Brave New World… of Cartoons

With Life taking a turn down Stress Lane lately (it’s more like Stress highway, really) I’ve been turning to cartoons for my escapist comedy fix. Mostly because the local Blockbusters has laid siege to my late-twenty-something sensibilities by stocking a spate of movies starring, among other people I never want to hear about ever again, Paris Hilton and Lindsey Lohan. (Jon Stewart, in a recent interview with Robin Wright Penn summarized his take on The Problem with Hollywood with this little golden nugget: less Lindsey Lohan, more Robin Wright Penn”).

I have to say, it seems like cartoons nowadays are willing to go where other Hollywood blockbusters fear to tread, that is, escapism sprinkled with a dusting of tell-it-like-it-is social criticism. Considering these movies are big with families, they reach a sizeable chuck of the average (North) American family, unlike the indies, (informative, entertaining, but not nearly as accessible to or sought after by, wide audiences).

Take the movie I watched last night, Over The Hedge. Fabulous. Loved it. If you like Steve Carell’s antics on The Office, you’ll love his rendition of the “idiot savant, minus the savant” Hammy the hyperactive squirrel. Besides the tight plot, hilarious punch lines, sweet characterization and impressive 3-D animation, there’s a clever little embedded message about waste. Specifically how much we humans generate of it. I especially loved how the message was integral to the plot, not an afterthought. Aspiring writers could learn a lot from that.

The gist of the plot is this: creatures of a forest (a turtle, a father-daughter possum duo, a family of hedgehogs, a skunk, and aforementioned hyper squirrel) wake up from hibernation one year only to find that an “oasis of tranquility” suburb has sprung up around them over the winter. Their world is now separated from that of the humans by a mysterious hedge, which they call “Steve” (for lack of a better idea). Enter a renegade, n’er-do-well worldly raccoon who educates them about the empire of the humans, fur-less creatures whose whole lives revolve around food. Transporting it, storing it, freezing it, cooking it, having it delivered, consuming it, and, of critical interest to our furry protagonists, throwing most of it away. Thus begins the ideological struggle between the innovator raccoon who gets the animals addicted to Doritos and Coca Cola, and the old-school turtle preaching the virtues of a diet of bark, leaves, and nuts.

The message here isn’t too subtle, but it’s still a worthy one, and not just to kids who prefer to leave the veggies on their plate untouched.

I waste. A lot. But here’s the deal: if I ate everything that was put in front of me in a restaurant, if I ordered Whoppers instead of Whopper Jrs., and ordered the combo every time someone behind a cash register offered it to me (and let’s not even mention supersizing), I would be obese. Not fat, Obese. There’s been a lot written about this so I won’t go too far with this but, as you may have observed, the more fresh, high quality your food is (like say fruits, veggies, and fresh lean meat), the more expensive it is (compare how much it would cost to make a burger, fries and salad out of scratch with buying a McDonald’s combo meal). So obesity is partially an economic class issue as well (which, in America, makes it a race issue to boot). Add on the Wal-Mart effect which I blogged about a few weeks ago (i.e. bringing down prices – including the price of our food – by bringing down quality), and you have a cartoon with a seemingly simple message that actually goes a long, long way. The kind of “waste” addressed in Over the Hedge isn’t the kind your mama warned you about when she made you eat your broccoli and carrots. It’s the kind of “waste” we as a society have accepted to live with in order to protect our individual right to a high-fat burger, a cheap salmon fillet, or a chicken nuggets made from mutant, diseased chickens. And then people wonder why they’re constantly fighting losing battles with their expanding waistlines. Yes, individual responsibility is vital, but so is recognizing when the odds are stacked against you (more so if you have the misfortunes of being poor and/or a member of a disadvantaged minority). Over the Hedge, people. It’s mindless escapism minus the mindless.

The other cartoon I saw recently has been getting some heat from conservative pundits who’ve called it “left-wing propaganda”. I’m referring to Happy Feet, the penguin movie (penguins are having a great decade in Hollywood, wouldn’t you say?).

Though global warming is never actually addressed full on, it’s in every scene, behind every plot twist. In the cracked ice-sheets, the cascading snow off of cliffs, the floating bits off icebergs that carry Mumble the penguin away from his family. And, here too, the human obsession with hoarding food (thus disrupting food chains which ultimately leads to mass extinction across many species) drives the plot.

I’m loving how it’s mostly cartoons and “fake”-news shows like Jon Stewart and Colbert who are raising awareness – in a way that appeals to the masses – about some of the most pressing issues of our times.

PS - Some very exciting writing news are on the way... stay tuned!

Tuesday, January 16, 2007

Sad Stereotyping From a Beloved Author

Two posts in one day – I’m on a roll.

But this one couldn’t wait. I was really, really saddened last night when upon the blog of one of my favorite, most cherished chick lit (or any lit, really) writers ever were chapters from a novel-in-progress which edged a little too close for my comfort toward the negative Arab-man stereotype (the only way I’ve seen Arab women portrayed in literature is downtrodden and miserable, or saintly and sacrificing, or else forcing other women into submission because that’s all they’ve ever know… pretty one-dimensional stuff). I took this particularly hard because this is an author who’s inspired me very much with the way she’s called the American media on their racial stereotypes, and the way they’ve subverted meaningful debate by asking all the wrong, inflammatory, and stupid questions.

I won’t go too far with this, but there were some things about this Arab character that were somewhat anti-stereotypical in that at least he wasn’t a terrorist (which, I started worrying about when I saw he was being represented as filthy rich and sketchy). He was a well-educated though woefully ill-equipped-in-bed character who takes our beloved member-of-a-misrepresented-minority heroine to bed under dubious circumstances (which make us wonder for a second if she was drugged, or about-to-be drugged), bangs her rather unceremoniously, and then tells her that not only is he married, but to several women. It turns out our protagonist picked a polygamist, teeny-weeny penised Arab man - from a very fashionable Gulf country (as in accessible, modern, a staunch US ally, and a burgeoning tourist destination) – for her fling.

I thought we were done with the filthy-oil-rich-polygamist, (and Oh-so-80s) cliché. Replaced by the much more twenty-first century poverty-stricken-terrorist-wretch stereotype. This, from sub-par literature, I have no problem with. Everyone gets stereotyped against, from drug-dealing Latinos and thick-accented maids, to Noble Savage (or just plain savage) Native Americans. But this particular author had expended much energy on dispelling certain stereotypes in her body of work, so maybe that’s why I took the don’t-you-stereotype-me-but-I-can-do-it-all-I-want blow so much to heart.

Here’s the thing with Muslim polygamy, in case you were curious. It exists, so I wouldn’t hesitate to use it in one of my own novels, if I thought it served the plot, and – here’s the key point – if I presented it correctly. Otherwise it’s just perpetuating hateful these-people-are-wacko type stereotypes.

A note on explaining things: explaining is not excusing, or even forgiving. It’s just making an effort to get where something comes from, put it in context. The desert was a very polygamous place when Mohammed showed up, circa 600 AD. Mohammed himself took several wives in the name of forming alliances after his first wife – to whom he remained faithful – died. These were also times of much war and little charity. Widows and orphans were left to fend for themselves, as at that time, women, whether in the Middle East or Europe, had about as many rights as domestic animals did. Maybe less. Mohammed would have known all about that, being an orphan himself. So when he gained following and power, he put a cap on the number of wives a man could take (4), and gave those wives several key rights that it would take European women many, many, many hundreds more years to catch up to, namely: divorce, inheritance, property, dowry (payable TO the bride’s family as collateral in case of divorce – an alimony of sorts – not BY them).

Fast forward 1,400 years. One of the major tenants of Islam is that the Qur’an is the literal, written word of God (disclaimer: I believe ALL organized religions are bullshit. I’m just reporting on this as a socio-anthropological phenomenon). There is no room for doubt in Islam (unlike the Bible which is said to be the “inspired” word of God – we know there are several versions of the Bible, several interpretations, hence all the different denominations of Christianity. Not so with the Qur’an. The schism between Sunni and Shia Islam is political, not theological).

This makes it absolutely impossible for practicing Muslims to challenge their spiritual beliefs (which probably explains most of our problems right there). So no amendments or footnotes to the Qur’an to the effect of: “You know what, we thought about this four wives thing and it’s just way too fifth century…” It may as well have been written in stone.

With the advent of secularism in the Muslim world, what many Muslim countries have done in the past century is simply outlaw polygamy (e.g. Lebanon, Tunisia, among others). But, as you very well know, the custom is alive and well in countries that practice the Sharia’h (or Qur’anic) law verbatim (notably Saudi Arabia, the US’s most important ally in the Middle East). Nonetheless, polygamy, wherever it is practiced, is mainly limited to:

A) The insanely rich, like royalty and nobility – they tend to be very traditional, and can afford to dole out four identical Manolo Blahniks at a time;
B) The insanely poor, as nothing multiplied or divided by four is still nothing
C) The very old fashioned country folk who are still working the land (where have 4 times as many sons to tend the land, and 4 times more likelihood a couple will pull through infant mortality, is a plus)

The only instances of polygamy you will see amongst educated, modern, middle-class people are where a sleazy guy is “cheating” on his wife by taking a wife #2, equated in Arabic pop culture to taking a mistress. Neither wife would know the other exists, and should they find out, they’d treat the guy as though he’d cheated. No difference. Most of Arabic soap opera drama is based on this type of conflict, whereas you’d never see outright cheating on TV – that’s just a little too indecent for our religion-seeped souls.

My grandfather was, strictly-speaking, a polygamist but I didn’t know it until I was in my late teens. I just thought he was a confirmed bachelor after two failed attempts at marriage. His family chose my grandmother for him (illiterate 13 year-old Syrian woman from the countryside) when he was young himself. He wasn’t really interested in her seeing as he was educated and rapidly rising up the ranks as a businessman in booming Saudi Arabia. I don’t know if he had already separated from her when he met the woman who’d become his second wife, but for all intents and purposes, he separated from my grandmother, and was then with this other woman (whom he also separated from before I was born – hence why I thought he was unmarried). It never occurred to me that my grandparents never divorced, but I’m pretty sure that my poor, illiterate country-bumpkin grandmother would have infinitely preferred this fate over that of being a divorcee.

So there you have it – it is possible, I suppose, to pick up a thrice-married Arab man in a seedy tourist bar, as this author portrayed in her draft. But if he were royalty (scenario A), he’s more likely to be gallivanting around a casino in Monaco. Men from scenarios B and C are as likely to be found in said bar as the Earth is to be hit by a meteorite in the next three seconds. Oil-rich Emirs don’t grow on trees, despite what the Harlequins of yore told us. There are some 11,000-odd Saudi Princes and Princesses out there who squander their country’s natural resources at the expense of their citizens’ educations, infrastructure, and future. They deserve all the bad press they get. But what about the other 299,989,000 Arabs out there for whom polygamy is nothing more than a shadow of a long-gone past? If a liberal, anti-discrimination, deeply intelligent, outspoken media critic won’t attempt a nuanced picture of Arabs then I’m at my wits’ end.

I’m all for entertainment, and you can pick your bad guys out of any ethnicity you want. But it’s transcending stereotype through effective characterization that elevates your work to greatness. I thought this writer’s first few novels were the stuff of greatness, and I really hope that this ‘draft’ is just that – a raw draft – and that somehow the rest of the story makes up for this overplayed cliché.

New Voices in YA Chick Lit

I attempted to set up my first booksigning this weekend. I’m not sure about this, but I may be planning a little too far ahead. I may have to start culling some of my sisters in writings’ expertise… it’s a bit a maze sometimes, all this promotion stuff. But the lovely thing about living in Cayman is that there are basically two bookstores, the owners of one, The Book Nook, are some of the loveliest people I’ve ever met. One day, shortly after I sold, I ordered Publicize Your Book by Jacqueline Deval from them. It being a family-run sort of place (like many businesses here), Barbara, half of the dynamo team that runs the shop, pulled the book from behind the counter when it arriveda week later and looked up at me, impressed. “You wrote a book?!”

It’s been love ever since. Every time I’m in the store, every single customer in there with me gets an introduction and, ever since I gave Barbara an ARC, a sales pitch as well though the book isn’t even out yet. They’ve suffered the long-drawn agony of waiting for Fashionably Late to hit the shelves along with me since they knew about the sale even before some of my relatives did. They still can’t believe it takes that long to publish a book (and they’re in the business!) but their enthusiasm hasn’t dimmed one bit. So naturally, The Book Nook on Grand Cayman Island is where I’ll be holding my first signing in June. Yay me!

Okay, now for some major news… one that I have already hinted about just after Christmas… two of my best writing friends EVER, two of the kindest, most supportive, considerate girls I’ve met on this journey… got the call!!!!! THE call.

Wendy Toliver is the proud author of The Secret Life of a Teenage Siren (working title), a book about a band geek who turns into a Siren on her sixteenth birthday. It’s slated for publication by Simon Pulse in their romantic comedy line in fall of 2007. If you liked Venus Envy, you’ll love this YA take on mythology meets incredulous, reluctant heroines. Shannon’s Venus is alive and well in Roxy’s insanely beautiful (or just plain insane, depending on your point of view…) Grandma Perkins, who’s more of a Daryl Hannah in Splash! than Angela Lansbury. And Roxy herself is a younger, scarred by the Proud Crowd rather than embezzling ex-boyfriends, Rachel.

And as if that weren’t sweet enough, How To Salsa in a Sari by the lovely Dona Sarkar has been bought by Harlequin for their YA line (ask her where she got that snazzy title, he he)Dona has written lots before, like the wonderful Desi Divas – don't you love that title? – about three Indian-American girls and one wannabe Indian American girl juggling life, love, career, and crazy parents in Seattle… maybe now that Grey’s Anatomy put Seattle on the romantic drama/comedy map, we’ll see a demand for books based in Seattle? Who knows how this mysterious “demand” thing works? As far as I know, How To Salsa in a Sari is a Latino West meets Indian East tale where two families from these different backgrounds come together, forcing two very different girls to become stepsisters. Are you surprised it sold? I’m not.

What I find fascinating is that these two authors both started out as chick lit writers, weathered the ‘chick lit is SO not selling’ storm, and have now sold in YA. And they’re not alone… Just off the top of my head I can think of Alisa VR with her Haters, Beth Kendrick’ Life as a Poser who have branched out to Young Adult. And then there are authors I know who have gone the complete other way towards very sexy chick lit (not that anyone’s calling it chick lit, mind you).

Have any of these authors changed their tone? The feistyness of their leading chicas? Their label or pop-culture-references-dropping?

Nope.

In fact, I’m willing to bet you these are the stylistic elements that made them rise above the pack and sell today. Because writing the gut wrenching, emotional, lay-it-on-the-line-and-make-me-FEEL-it style is tough, people. It’s what makes chick lit closer to mainstream than romance (like say, an Emily Giffin or Jennifer Weiner novel).

So perhaps it’s not authors and their so-called ‘formulaic writing’ that killed the chick lit phenomenon…but the publishers themselves? Maybe they just had one too many pastel pink stiletto-plastered covers designed for their (and our) own good.

The cover of Fashionably Late was almost one of those cartooney ones (which I liked very much actually, because let me tell something… that girl shown may have been a cartoon, but she was Arabic, the way you might see an Arab at the mall without really knowing that’s who she is, just knowing she has a not-from-here-maybe-Greek-maybe-Italian-maybe-Latina-but-not-really air about her, and it felt mighty good to represent and be represented. Positively. For once.). The cover Tor/Forge eventually went with was pretty much the polar opposite of this, and though I was confused by it at first, I’m absolutely thrilled with it now. Because no one will be able to “box” my writing because of it. Some readers might recognize the chick lit elements in it and pronounce it Chick Lit. Others will see the grappling-with-immigration struggle and see it as mainstream. Still others might appreciate it as an off-the-beaten-track travelogue, or an unconventional romance. It’s all of these things, which is why we should resist putting things in tightly confined boxes when they should free to become whatever the reader’s imagination wants them to become. Chick lit is in the eye of the beholder. And it’s certainly not dead.

Friday, January 05, 2007

Grey's Anatomy and The Problem with Men

I realize it may be a little late to post about this seeing as I saw the original blog entry several weeks ago, but I was busy and then I forgot. Perhaps I was unconsciously saving my rant for a light news week, or delaying having to post up my doomed New Year’s resolutions for the world to see. Whatever.

The blog entry in question was composed by a seemingly bitter young man who, like anyone who wants to avoid difficult answers, set up a poll on huffingtonpost.com asking females at large this: if you had to choose between George and Alex, who would you pick?

The George referred to in this case is, of course, the affable, cuddly and hopelessly relationship-challenged George of Grey’s Anatomy, and Alex, the womanizing cad of the same show.

Honestly.

So women’s choices boil down to this: a sexy but cheating jerk, or a clueless nice guy. Huh.

What happened to the guys on the show who are actually getting some? Like say, Burke and Shepard?

I suppose the blogger may have purposely limited the choice as a means of trying to get down to the ‘essence’ of women’s nature, like, what are our true, deepest, core desires? To be loved as we are, or to be satisfied in bed? If I had to take a wild guess, I’d say that poor guy had just gotten dumped and decided to vent his disdain for womankind on the blogosphere.

I wonder if what the poor blogger meant to say was that we women are never happy because we aspire to snagging guys like Shepard and Burke while overlooking the puppy-eyed, tongue-tied, lost little boy panting at our feet (I’m assuming the author identifies with George since he explained at length that only a hedonistic, emotionally-challenged woman would go for Alex).

Grow up, whatever your name is. Women don’t want little boys (like George. I’m not buying the whole Callie storyline, btw.) Or frat boys (like Alex). Women want men. Like Burke and Shepard. Confident sans the machismo, in-control without being domineering, and tender when it counts. And being good in the sack never hurt either.

Good luck, my friend.

Thursday, January 04, 2007

New Year Resolution - Part 1

This New Year’s day I was invited to a brunch where I didn’t know too many people (Champagne brunching followed by some passing out drunk on the beach is quite the holiday tradition ‘round these parts, especially for us ‘Holiday orphans’, that is, expats who can’t go home and have to contend with each others’ company on the island for the festive season).

Anyway, I had absolutely no intention of opening my mouth and causing a stir (as opening my mouth inevitable does). I just wanted to talk weather and enjoy my mimosas in peace and goodwill. Alas, the Universe had other plans.

I’d just finished reading The Wal-Mart Effect (as you faithful blog readers know), and, with the most innocent of intentions, I started telling my (one) acquaintance at the table about it since we like to talk non-fiction books. My friend is a successful business entrepreneur, quasi venture capitalist, and free market theory is God to him, so he had an opinion on the book I’d just read. As part of some good-natured brunch banter, I opined back, and then a few other people joined in, and before I knew it, Middle East politics were dragged into the fray and “just out of curiosity, where are you from?” popped up.

Hilarious.

There were two running jokes at the table, the first, that I consciously tried to hold my tongue under the pretext that my new year’s resolution is to stop shouting politics/economics at people during civilized gatherings (but it was hard to quell the steam rising out of my ears), and two, I kept referring to this one guy arguing with me ‘sir’ which someone else at the table finally called me out on: that my ‘sir’ was disguising some seething contempt. Humph. In my defense, A) I’d never met the guy before in my life, and B) He looked like he had children my age (okay, okay, small children. I still have to remind myself I’m not fifteen anymore). I thought ‘sir’ was appropriate (and maybe just a teeny little bit contemptful… whatever).

Anyway, the point to all this is that it was brought up in this discussion, as with most others I’ve had, that people feel like I know a whole lot more (and am biased, but that’s a whole other post) on some topics that they do, some even admit that you can never know a whole lot just by watching CNN or Fox News, and that molding miscellaneous factoids into an argument that makes sense is either a talent or a product of the mystical “knowing a whole lot”.

It’s really not all that complicated. Maybe I am n fact biased here, because I am, first and foremost, a reader. I think to read is to be curious about life, people, everything around you. And whether you like it or not, you’ll learn something. True, knowledge without wisdom can be dangerous, but lots of reading = lots of knowledge + time = some wisdom, a little bit at a time.

There are no absolute answers in life, people (as in, Is Wal-Mart evil?) but there are connectors in our brains, and the more we read (it’s hard for TV to do this unless you are watching a documentary, because TV tends to give you sound bites without the necessary context), the more we can connect the dots, and eventually (hopefully) form better, more well-rounded arguments.

Case in point: remember in my last post when I mentioned reading Ines of My Soul, and The Wal-Mart Effect? Two completely and totally unrelated books. And yet, while one covers (briefly) the enslavement (mainly to work in gold and silver mines) of the native peoples of Chile, The Wal-Mart Effect explains, using as an example the impoverished of Chile, how Wal-Mart makes everything cheap. And I was able to use all that in my argument. I wish all the things I learned at school were as easy to remember (and understand!) as all the knowledge I get from books.

So let’s all resolve to read lots more in 2007!

Epilogue: ‘Sir’ and I walked away from the brunch table friends.

Sunday, December 31, 2006

New Year Joy

First things first: HAPPY NEW YEAR to all of you and may you get to enjoy in 2007 the fruits of all your hard work, your passions and your dreams. I happen to know one such person, who, just on the eve of the holiday season, received the best news a writer could hope for, but I'm going to wait to tell you guys until I have her permission to post. All I can say is, you totally deserve this and I couldn't be happier!!!(you know who you are...)

I have to say on this eve of the New Year that there's been quite some excitement in our household as well. I went home for the holidays for the first time in five years and was greeted with a deceptive plus six degree Celsius (which is pretty warm for December 22nd) only to wake up to 25 cm of snow (that's about a foot... I think... let's just saw "a whole lotta") on the morning of December 26th. So I didn't have a white Christmas, but I had a lovely, chilly, slushy, but white Boxing Day (that's the peculiar name we citizens of the Commonwealth have for December 26th).

Ok, the excitement... my lovey editor Paul had a bunch of copies of the Fashionably Late ARC sent to my parents' address in Montreal, so I got to come home to this:



AAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

My friend and I even took a copy to our local bookstore and put it on a shelf next to the new releases just to see what it would look like (yes, very dorky, I know). But it was definitely a huge thrill. Even more thrilling was watching my parents' eyes light up when they saw the novel was dedicated to them. I'm not one of those types to believe in "positive visualization" or whatever picturing yourself achieving something as a means of actually achieving it is called, but that moment was one I had played over and over in my head, those years I had been working on FL. Next step... visualize myself finishing novel #2...

And that's not all... check this out.

How crazy is that??? I had no idea it would be up on Amazon (and Chapters.ca for you Canucks out there) so soon!!! It was my mother-in-law who discovered this and is now, officially, the first person to have ordered Fashionably Late! (Merci, J!!)

I also did a lot of catching up on my reading these past few days as nothing beats staying in with a cup of hot tea white it's drizzling frozen rain outside... there was also a lot of airport time which most people dread, but you know what? I LOVE airport time (provided you're not running around from counter to counter because you were bumped off your flight, and/or your luggage has gone AWOL, and/or your flight's been delayed five hours, or, better yet, indefinitely) No, my friends, this Christmas flying experience was all-around fabulous. It started with a certain someone in my traveling party (who knows who he is and should be ashamed) dragging me to the "US Citizens Only" line with an air of confidence and implacability which I mistook for knowing what the hell he was doing. I was wrong. First question we were asked when we presented our Canadian passports to the Department of Homeland Security officer was "why are you in my line", and when the certain guilty party feigned not knowing what the customs officer was talking about, I began planning how I'd get word to my family that I'd be missing Christmas because I had been thrown in a Guantanamo Bay jail cell indefinitely. After some "it wasn't my idea! It wasn't my idea!"'s from yours truly, the kindly officer let us go without throwing us back into the sorry hordes of the International Visitors line-ups with a "hey, it's Christmas" (God bless that wonderful man).

After that we were free to enjoy all the consumerist joys of America that are denied to us in the Cayman Islands, like Borders and Starbucks. And I got hours of guilt-free, maybe-I-should-be-doing-something-more-productive reading.

So here's what I read these past few days:

Ines of My Soul by Isabel Allende. This is supposedly not one of her best, but I adored it. You will too if you're into historical fiction that's more historical than fiction (or at least, it reads that way) and if you like swashbuckling adventure. There's a lot of romance here (just like in Zorro) but unlike historical romances, it's not the point. The point is the adventure, and in this case, the adventure is the conquest of Chile and Peru to a lesser extent). I think Allende was trying to be as fair as possible to both sides by getting into the minds of both the native peoples and the conquistadors, but as with stories of great injustices and suffering, like say slavery or the colonialism, "bad guys" do emerge, and their motivations: gold, greed, glory, evangelizing, just aren't enough to make them human. At least not to me, and I've always been a sucker for novels like Roots (which this was NOT - it was from the POV of Ines, a conquistadora). All in all, it was a page-turner most of the time, and it made me want to read Allende's backlist.

The Wal-Mart Effect by Charles Fishman. Maybe it's the geeky business grad in me, but multinationals that shape our lives fascinate me (I told you I was on a non-ficion kick...). This particular Wal-Mart critique (and there have been many) is that it really doesn't have an agenda beyond explaining, as scientifically as possible, how Wal-Mart has changed commerce in out times. When I say 'our times' we're talking so recently that many things I learned at business school are woefully outdated now that Wal-Mart's on the scene. It's not Wal-Mart bashing, nor praising really, but it's a great study of the phenomenon.

The Greatest Story Ever Sold by Frank Rich. This one's about the Iraq war. Now, I know that the biggie out there on this subject is Bob Woodward's State of Denial, but forgive me if he's not my go-to guy on matters of the Bush administration since he's published two Bush suck-up books (Plan of Attack, Bush at War) previous to this one where it would seem he finally saw the light (and now, apparently, Bush won't talk to him anymore...) Frank Rich has been critical of the Iraq war from day one, so no "flip-flopping" here to borrow a page from Bush propaganda tactics. I won't say I loved it: it was dry reading at times (but hey, it's politics, not chick lit), and to me personally, I didn't really learn anything new. What I wanted the most, I didn't get, which was a deep look into the WHY of this whole ordeal, when this book was 250 pages of HOW. he author skims over possible motivations in two pages which wasn't good enough for me, but I guess this was outside the scope of the book (just look at the title). He does however string all the milestones of the war from 9/11 to the present day so you can clearly see how the American people were made to think the Iraq War was a good idea. So good reading if you're confused about the whole thing and want some clearing up of the facts, without too much opinion thrown in.

... I think I've overdue for some good ol'chick lit, what do you think??? I just got my hands on the fabulous Shannon McKeldon's Venus Envy and can't wait to dig in!

Have a great New Year everybody!

Sunday, December 17, 2006

IT'S HERE!!!!!!



Well... what do you guys think?

Definitely a move away from the 'chick' covers we're warned are taking a nosedive, but I do love that blue water so... very vacation-y, wouldn't you say? Now I just have to cross my fingers and hope Barnes & Noble, Borders, Chapters, Indigo et al. like it too...

Wednesday, December 13, 2006

Exciting Times in Hi-Tech Beauty

The Cayman Islands are many things, but one thing they most definitely are not is avant-garde. So imagine my surprise, when one fine day as I lay on my esthetician’s worktable, slick wax paper crackling under my back, I happen to look over to one side in an effort to get my mind off the mind-bending pain I was being subjected to, and what do I see? A sign for a brand-spanking new procedure I had just read about in Marie-Claire (the UK edition, no less) and had thought to myself when I read it: “man, wouldn’t I love to get this done if only I didn’t live on this rock”.

I won’t tell you what this procedure is quite yet as I'm thrilled to report I’ll be getting it done this Thursday, just in time for my Christmas party (so in case some people from the office are reading this... let’s see how perceptive you are!)

Hint: yes, the effects will be visible to the naked eye, but I highly doubt anyone will be able to pinpoint exactly what I’ve done to myself. More hints: it should actually be fun, unlike, say, laser treatments and chemical peels. It’s in the same fun-ness league as getting your hair dyed a drastic new color. It’s also very avant-gardiste indeed (and very, very frivolous, as in I-can’t-believe-this-is-what-you-spend-your-hard-earned-money-on, make no mistake about it), and I’m pretty sure most of you haven’t heard about it yet. Then again, I do live on a rock in the middle of the ocean, so I wouldn’t be surprised if you laughed me out of the blogosphere after I disclose the results this weekend (we’ve know about it for ages daahrling, do try and keep up!)

Any lucky guessers out there? And I do promise to give you a full report, this weekend after my office Christmas party.

On the book front, I’ve got a surprise coming up for you… I just have to get the green light from my editor, and it’ll be up on my blog asap!

PS: I do apologize for not being able to post a picture of my Jimmy Choo obsession in my last entry… I have a hate-hate relationship with Blogger right now

Friday, December 08, 2006

Unthrifty Kind of Mood

It is absolutely impossible to be thrifty around Christmas time, no matter how hard you try. Maybe it’s just me.

Every year I get burned with the January sales, and, since I’m all the way in the Cayman Islands, the Land Before Malls, and am not planning a no-holds-barred pre-Christmas shopping trip this year, I figure it’s the perfect time to try and save my pennies for the inevitable post-Holiday retail slump where I can stock up on useless-but-pretty things to my heart’s desire. I’ve been doing pretty well, though yesterday, I finally succumbed to temptation.

I walked into a bookstore, and walked away eighty bucks poorer. Sigh. Three hardcover books, two non-fiction, (I’ve been seriously neglecting my non-fiction of late, and I do love it so. It’s just not the kind of thing that’s relaxing to read after a long rough day at work but I blame my burst of enthusiasm on two documentary DVDs I rented last weekend), and one historical fact/fiction medley, Inés of My Soul by Isabel Allende. I read her Zorro, and it kinda, sorta felt like a cross between Gabriel Garcia Marqués (but with less magic-realism weirdness) and Alexandre Dumas (with less can’t-put-it-down swash-buckliness) but all-together a superb novel. I hope Inés of My Soul will be in the same vein.

Did I stop at the bookstore? Nope. Proceeded to walk over to the ONE designer clothing store on the island, and fell in love (actually, it was more like ‘like’ but desperation and self-denial will do that to a girl) with a brownish-red (tag says ‘clay’) and white print BCBG wrap dress, reminiscent of the Diane von Furstenberg I put Ali (the main character in Fashionably Late) in in the novel (I would like to take the opportunity to point out that I am very jealous of Ali’s wardrobe, and have vowed to catch up with her by the time my launch party rolls around this June).

I did also try on a gorgeous little black silk/satin/sequins number which would have been PERFECT for my upcoming Christmas party but decided to leave my crimes at the BCBG dress, which didn’t quite break the bank (the LBD however, would have).

At least I still haven’t succumbed to the hypnotic retail power of these Jimmy Choos, though I have been lusting after them for five month now, and counting (ahem, friends, family….)

What do you think?


(I'd post an image but blogger won't let me : ( Any help would be appreciated...)

Monday, December 04, 2006

Muslim Elected to Congress... and the Ensuing Hoopla

I just couldn’t resist jumping all over this one.

DISCLAMER: I am Muslim. By birth. In practical terms, I’m probably what some might call an evangelical atheist, in that I have a passionate belief in science and logic as opposed to wild leaps of the imagination to explain the (as of yet) unexplainable. In the words of my newfound idol, Dr. Richard Dawkins, “God may very well exist, but would be vastly beyond what has ever been imagined by any theologian or prophet the world has ever known” (apologies for the paraphrasing).

I can assure you this is a genes/pre-ordained personality thing as I was not brought up by hippies. In fact, when I was around 6 or 7, having seen some footage of the sixties and early seventies and somehow having made the link that this was my parents’ era, I thought apt to ask: “Mommy, did you used to be a hippie?” to which I received a very dirty look and a “Shame on you!” [spit, spit].

So no, I was not brought up by Godless hippies. I was however raised in the uber-repressive Saudi Arabia, but lest you think my atheism is merely a personal conduit for rebellion against “the system”, it’s really not: my parents are both quite liberal and perfectly reasonable (despite not being hippies). My mother is “practicing” in the personal, compassionate sort of way that compels her to buy Jesus calendars from nuns because well, they’re nuns and who can say no to nuns?, while my father is extremely well-versed in the Qur’an having studied it at grammar school but has decided over the years that it’s pretty much all gobbledygook.

So there you have it.

Now, with that in mind, I’d like us to look at this article I read this morning. There have been several instances while living in Canada where I’ve had to swear on the bible. Like the time I was working in the States and was unable to get back to Canada in time to vote in our election, but wanted to vote anyway, so I had to do it ahead of the election and swear that on the particular date of the election, I could not be in Canada. I guess I could have made a big stink and refused to swear on anything but the Qur’an, but (please see disclaimer above) I went along because really don’t care. Really, REALLY don’t care. The respectful thing to do would have been to say that to have someone like me swear on the bible would be an insult not to me, but to Christianity, because when you make people who don’t believe in something swear by it just to humor you, their doing just that, humoring you. They are not respecting you. Respect would be having enough faith in you that they feel confident they can tell you that as far as they are concerned, religious book X is gobbledygook, and swearing by it would be an insult to both parties not to mention the integrity of the ritual. But really, they don’t have all that much respect for the ritual at all (or you) and they go along with it anyway. And so the charade continues.

So, when a newly elected official to a United States body of government respectfully declines to swear on the bible, you should take it not as s sign of disrespect for the bible or the traditions of the US, but as quite the opposite. It is in fact a sign of respect for the institutions and rituals of United States system of governance. And yes, I’ve heard the “this is America, and Americans are Christians and if you don’t like it leave” argument told to me (just substitute “Canada” for “America”) more times than I can count. I’m glad the author of the post chose to include this handy quote from the constitution: Article VI, section 3, "...no religious test shall ever be required as a qualification to any office or public trust under the United States."

Darn those liberal Founders indeed!

Sunday, December 03, 2006

How I Met Orlando Bloom... (I promise, I did)

I’ve been promising for ages to post my Orlando Bloom encounter story, but between proofreads, proposals, and month-end trading, it just hasn’t happened. Seeing as the proposal has now been handed in, the proofreads done (and the sheer amount of proofreading required before the publication of a novel should be the subject of its own post…) and with month-end (nearly) behind me, I should probably get to it, before the details of the story becoming blurry even to me…

If you’ve been reading this blog for a while, you’ll have heard me say just how small this island is. Well, when the indie movie Haven was released not too long ago, directed by the Cayman Islands’ very own Frank E. Flowers, everyone here was very excited. After all, probably half of the inhabitants of Grand Cayman are, knowingly or not, extras in the movie (like, say, a bouncer at one of our nightclubs who figures as a drug dealer…). And of course, those of us who didn’t get a chance to bump into Orlando while he was down here filming (like moi, unfortunately) were hoping for a second chance if he decided to come down here to promote Haven, which he did, a few weeks ago…

Unlike most of our celebrity sightings news, this one was splashed all over the newspapers (well… the one newspaper) and word spread pretty quickly that Orlando would be at the Ritz on this given Friday night (the Ritz having obliterated any other see-and-be-seen locale since it opened last year).

So my sister, myself, and everyone I know who hasn’t retired from the party circuit yet, got decked out in our denim-and-fabulous-heels-and-tops best and dropped by the Ritz cocktail lounge in the hopes that the rumors were true.

The Ritz cocktail lounge was somewhat but not much more crowded than it usually is on a Friday night, but there was definitely something different in the air… I read a newspaper article once that described Julia Roberts’ presence in a Montreal restaurant where the patrons were stunned to be seated in the same eatery as the star, but had the class not to mob her – the only evidence that she was there was the almost palpable feeling that everyone was holding their collective breath. This is exactly how the Ritz lounge felt like that night, with Orlando Bloom, in jeans, a t-shirt and a fedora over his tied-back hair sitting on the same sofa I’d plopped into on other Fridays, with his small entourage.

Of course we all gawked while trying hard to pretend we weren’t doing just that. My brave friend asked if she could take a picture with him (the response: “if I said yes, luv, it’d never stop”) and me just thrilled to be in spitting distance from him.

The festivities continued at a local club which had just opened and where it’s important to note a certain bartender works, one who is very good friends with my sister.

Orlando and his party occupied the VIP lounge located on the second floor, the entrance of which was guarded by a pair of bouncers.

My sister, our friends and I were happy to boogie on the first floor, and not in any desperate state to try and sneak up to the second floor. My sister then slipped away to get a drink, and I didn’t see her for the next twenty minutes, at which point the words out of her mouth were: “do you wanna meet Orlando?”.

Turns out her bartender friend had asked her just the same question when she walked up to the bar, and then dragged her up the staff stairs to the VIP area, and thrust her in Orlando’s face. And then left. Orlando was a total gentleman, said hi, while my sister was momentarily star-struck and couldn’t think of anything better to say than ask him his opinion about the situation in the Middle East. This seemed to throw Orlando off, and he stumbled his way through a manufactured answer but the ice was broken. They chatted, and twenty minutes later, my sister remembered that she’d left us all downstairs.

She apologized and said she had to get back to her friends, to which Orlando graciously answered: “why don’t you bring them up here?”

“Because there are two bouncers at the VIP entrance.” She said.

“Just say you’re with me.”

To which my sister cocked an eyebrow and retorted, : “um… yes, I’ll just say I’m with Orlando…”

Turns out Mr. Bloom has a sense of humor and recognized the absurdity of his own words. He went downstairs with her and instructed the bouncers to let her, and anyone who came with her, back upstairs when she was ready.

And that’s when she came to get me. Had it been someone else, I would have been a bit skeptical at thought they had somehow cozied up with a celeb in the span of 20 minutes, but if you knew my sister, you would have believed her too when she dragged you past the bouncers, up the stairs, tapped Orlando on the shoulder and said: “this is my sister, Nadine.”

What’s the protocol in these situations? What do you say? He was very nice and normal, and instead of “I love your work” or “so nice to meet you” I asked him if he was planning to do any diving while he was in town to which he replied he would love to but wouldn’t have the chance. We shook hands, and I wished him a pleasant stay in the Cayman Islands.

And that’s how I met Mr. Orlando Bloom. Not very glam, but there you have it. It was exciting, but I’m more excited my proofreads are over.

Sunday, November 12, 2006

Why I Should Try Really Really Hard not to Hate On Playboy

Because way too many people hate on fabulous publications like Marie-Claire that should in fact be lauded for making essential knowledge and hard-hitting journalism accessible to normal people. (I’m not suggesting that people who read, say, The Economist exclusively aren’t normal, but I wouldn’t want to go bar-hopping with them, would you?)

It’s important – nay, critical – to learn how to deliver a message to your target audience in such a way that said audience will give you the time of day. Lots of people like to complain about the garbage that Hollywood spews out on a regular basis, but when was the last time any of you sat through a whole episode on Meet the Press. Seriously? (Do you even know what I’m talking about?)

It’s not your fault. I can’t sit through that crap even though I care so much about politics I go into an epileptic seizure when an unsuspecting bystander makes the mistake of asking me my opinion on the subject. I’ve always thought that getting informed is crucial to civilized life, but man can it be boring and so damned dry sometimes!

Here’s the thing though: it really doesn’t have to be. Enter Marie-Claire (and yes, sigh, Playboy, which is known for serving respected journalism and literature as a side to its main offering of boobs and butts. Sorry)

Enter, also, authors. There’s a common thread I’ve identified among all the great books I can remember reading lately: Dirty Girls’ Social Club, Ishmael, A Short Story of Nearly Everything. They’ve taught me something. Painlessly.

The first book in this list is a popular women’s fiction novel that tells in very entertaining fashion, the story of six very different American Latinas. It sneaks Knowledge into your unsuspecting brain like Flinstones vitamins into kids’ welcoming mouths. You didn’t ask for knowledge. You asked for a sexy, raunchy, fashion-label-filled story about young(ish) contemporary women, dammit. Instead you learned that Latinas come in many more shades and economic backgrounds than you see on the evening news, that there is such a thing as a Cuban Jew, that Mexican politics are about as relevant to the Dominicans and Puerto Ricans of Boston as Manchester United’s latest victory over Arsenal is to you (i.e. not in the least). And you were completely unsuspecting of this learning until the next time you saw a Latina and caught yourself wondering if she was a Puerto Rican with citizenship rights, a Dominican with none, a Cuban who fled Cuba before Castro had a chance to nationalize her family’s sugar plantation or one whose family was poor and got a house and health care out of the Revolution.

In other words, you became sensitive to the world’s many textures, and it didn’t hurt one bit.

Now, I know that not every magazine needs to be a Marie-Claire. Sometimes you really just want to know what those eleven best-kept sex secrets are (even though you have a sneaky suspicion they highly resemble last month’s six best ways to keep your man happy, but whatever) instead of why women are being hunted and killed in Darfur. And sometimes the latest Kate Husdon blockbuster does more to sooth the soul than a debate about the rise of religious fundamentalism on BBC America.

So, dear readers, when you think to yourself you should really try to get a grasp on the campaign contributions reform bill but can’t get through the boring, jargon-riddled article in The Economist and then feel guilty, pick up a Marie-Claire instead, and be thankful that you can catch up on those pesky human-interest issues Fox News doesn’t like to talk about AND get your fashion fix at the same time.

Or, if you’re a guy, I guess you can pick up a Playboy. It’s better than giving up on the whole getting informed thing.

And for you authors, think about how immortality can be achieved through truth. You don’t have to be writing about Darfur to write true. Just pick up Alisa’s Dirty Girls’ Social Club and you’ll see.

Saturday, November 11, 2006

No More Excuses… Well, A Couple More, Actually

Has it really been a month since my last post? Oh, the shame...

I’m not sure if the expression “when it rains, it pours” was just one chronic procrastinator’s explanation as to why he suddenly went from rocking peacefully in a hammock with nothing much to do, to having his head spin with an army of unrelated, all equally urgent tasks suddenly landing in his hereto blissfully empty conscience. I feel like it poured on me, but then again, maybe I did this to myself...

Okay, excuses. Let's see if you forgive me, or if I'm utterly beyond redemption:

1) All Hell breaking loose at work. My uber-serious, responsible, upwardly-mobile DH warned me against making any kind of work-related reference in any of my posts lest I land myself on the opposite side of a defamation suit. (Not that you'd ever want to hear about my day job anyway, trust me). Suffice to say, some careers are not exactly conducive to oodles of writing time and/or the keeping of one's sanity. Then again, see musings on procrastination above.

2) Hard drive crashing. I own a Mac. I thought macs didn't crash. I never thought MY mac would crash. My friends liken me to Carrie Bradshaw because of my abilities to punctuate a sentence properly and identify the correct top to be wearing with this summer's short-shorts. I never thought I would be staring at a pair of blinking, bespectacled eyes before my beloved laptop screen went blank, taking every piece of software and pored-over Word files along with it. A la CB. And no, I did NOT go Ctl+Alt+Delete.

3) Frantic call from agent inquiring as to where the Hell (my expletive, not hers) are the chapters for my next book...

4) Politics. No I'm not American, but I've been following your elections as closely as though I were. The whole thing fascinates me, and I half-wish I could vote (I'm half glad I can't because I wouldn't wish the choice btw Democrats and Republicans on my worst enemy). Just the God issue alone makes me break out into a self-righteous seizure. Judging by this week's Newsweek and Time covers (or is it last weeks'? I live in Moo-moo-moo land, it takes a while for things like food and pertinent information to reach us), God is a hot topic outside of my head as well. Also, I had prepared a very impassioned post after watching Spike Lee's four hour long "When the Levees Broke" documentary but the DH decreed it was too strong for a blog about writing... I listened, though maybe I shouldn't have... our writing is a big part of who we are (which is why we take criticism so badly, right?). I think if you are very reluctant to talk about politics and religion in public, then that's who you are. I happen to think these are the only two topics really worth debating these days because they define the very core of our existence. Not that I value the discussion of the length of the season's hem lines any less (or, say, how far fashion has come in a mere decade than the topic of hemline length is oh-so-passe...), I just think that in today's political landscape, it's very pink-elephant-in-the-living-room-esque to willfully ignore these topics.

And that's where I've been, ladies and gentlemen. As for the lovely pics of Grand Cayman Dona and Wendy suggested I post: we're still in rainy season daa'hlinks! As I stare out the cafe windows right now, I see a large gray cloud pouring its contents over our downtown area (about three streets and a dock) and plodding its way over here.

But I’m here now, so let’s make the best of it!

I’m in that phase of writing a novel right now where you’re so in love with your characters and premise that you think you might just be the next Marian Keyes and you almost see little writing fairies a la Flora, Fauna and Merriweather whipping your laptop keys into a magical frenzy, and all you have to do is sit back and watch the happy little miracle happen.

I wonder how long that’s going to last.

I do credit some of this to a pretty long dry spell where I just sat back and let the story come to me. I don’t think this is advisable, but at least for this book, where the story in its entirety is conjured up from thin air (no handy Cuba memories to fall back on), I think the final work will be the stronger for it.

I'm feeling the vibe of this new book as much more women's fic than traditional chick lit. By that I mean the voice/tone are more subdued, serious, and I'm hoping it's because the themes are deeper, and the protag well-characterized. I'll be finding out soon enough what my editor thinks...

Before I go, I'll leave with with some movie/book recommendations (somehow, in spite of the world crashing down around me lately, I managed to squeeze in lots of reading and movie catching up time. No, I was NOT procrastinating...)

Movies:

1) Water. That's the title. "Water". It's not a very recent one (2004, I think), but it's amazing. It takes place in India in 1938, right around the time Gandhi was making a name for himself, and when child marriages to yucky old perverted men were common practice (lest you think I'm being unfair to Indians, those things happened plenty in the Middle-East in the olden days, in Africa, and yes, in Europe not too too long ago. Samuel de Champlain, the explorer who "civilized" Quebec took a 12 year-old bride when he was in his fifties and brought her back gloves made of native-Americans' skin as a present from the New World... Can you say weirdo?)

Anyhoo, the heroine of this story is an 8 year-old girl who finds out the man she doesn't quite remember marrying died and left her a widow. This is very, very bad as strict Hindu scripture prescribes that widows either hurl themselves into the fire after their dead husbands, live out the rest of their miserable lives in penitence on the fringes of society for being the reason their poor men departed this Earth, or marry their dead husband's younger brother if he has one. Our young protagonist is sent away to an ashram (an institution where widows live secluded from the rest of the world) where she has to adapt to living on one meal a day, having her hair shorn, and begging every once in a while. It sounds like a miserable movie but it's quite uplifting in a strange way. It's also tragic, universal, beautiful and haunting. Favorite scene: after a particularly trying episode, one man asks a dedicated widow how she can keep her faith after so much suffering. Her reply: "I know we're here for a reason." His reply:"Yes. Because when you are sent here [the ashram], that's one less mouth to feed, four less saris a year, one more bed in the house. You're here as a result of an economic decision masquerading as religion."

2) Three Kings. This is another oldie, shot right after Operation Desertstorm, the first Iraqi escapade... (early 1990s) but chillingly relevant today. It follows three screwball soldiers (Clooney, Mark Wahlberg, Ice-Cube) who find a map for treasure Saddam stole from Kuwait in a POW's butt. They want to get the treasure while the army is busy pulling out of Iraq (that's the funny part of the movie) but get caught up in a popular uprising in the process (the not-so-funny part). One of the better, more balanced and honest Hollywood movies about the Middle-East conflict I've seen. And there aren't many of those around, so you really shouldn't miss this one.

Books:

Something Blue - now I've read all the Emily Giffins and I've loved them all. I think this may have been my favorite. Darcy is so much more complex and interesting to follow than mopey Rachel. At least that's my opinion...

Blame It On Paris - just started this one, but it's hilarious so far. Down-home Georgia girl drools over French waiter and manages to ask him out despite quasi-crippling self-deprecating humor and cynicism. Semi-autobiographical (big whoop, so's most chick lit. The shock value here is that this author actually owns up to it...) Bonus: love the descriptions of the city. I miss Paris...

That's it for now chickkies. Will try to post though the priority right now is to get my proposal out for the sequel to FL. But, maybe if you ask me nicely, I'll tell you how I met Orlando Bloom a few weekend ago (yes, words were spoken between us beyond "aren't you Orlando Bloom, drool drool") ...

Thursday, October 12, 2006

Where Have All the Sex Jokes Gone? Oh, And On G.W. Bush, The Taliban, and Vogue

I remember a time when the most widely circulated e-mails among my friends and colleagues were of the raunchy joke variety, and perhaps the odd chain mail or two (usually forwarded with an apology and an explanation as to exactly why the sender just couldn’t resist sending us this one).

Nowadays, it seems like every time I open something with an attachment, said attachment contains pictures of someone’s newborn offspring. This used to be pretty exciting. But, (and I say this at the expense of coming off as a cold-hearted biatch with icicles for feelings) not a week goes by these days when one of these doesn’t pop up in my inbox, whether from an old friend I’d lost touch with, a colleague I barely know, and yes, often from close friends or family.

It makes me wonder if we don’t have a baby boom on our hands. Of maybe I’m just at that age when this happens to most people and I’m the stubborn odd gal holding out, or am I officially a withered ol’ curmudgeony childless shrew?

Huh.

While we’re on the topic (again – at least I spared you my latest baby shower rant), I finished Emily Giffin’s Baby Proof last week, and it was the first book in a looong time that I managed to finish in a few sittings. I enjoyed it quite a bit more that Something Borrowed, probably because it felt very timely to me.

It’s also one of those books that’s hard to categorize… the pastel yellow cover with the booties say chick lit, so does the heroine’s honesty as a character, but the tone is quite literary, the writing sparse and unpretentious. I can also see why the Amazon reactions to Claudia Parr, the heroine, were extreme – she’s a complicated character, but isn’t that what real people are like? Is she selfish? A bit… but so is everyone around her. I won’t give away the ending, but this wasn’t a book that left me with the all’s-well-with-the-world feeling that you would expect from ‘fluff’. Again, it just gets me thinking about the whole chick lit debate, and I wonder if maybe it’s time we dropped the label and the kitschy covers. Unless, of course, if the literary world snubs its nose at the likes of above-par women’s fic writers like Emily because, well, who cares about women’s issues when there’s war, environmental disasters, subversion of political rights and so on to worry about, then why waste our breath and energies on ‘women’s issues’?

The cool thing about blogging is that I get to answer my own rhetorical questions (ha ha) and hop on my soapbox whenever I feel like it. Here goes.

Women’s issues are WORLD ISSUES. In addition to representing just over half of the world’s population, women control 80% of household spending (at least in Western countries, who, let’s face it, hold 80% of the world’s wealth anyway). My mind about George W. Bush was made up a long, long time ago, long before he had a chance to offend his first diplomat or tear up his first environmental treaty, when Vogue (yes, the fashion magazine) interviewed him during his first run for presidency. Vogue, being concerned with women’s issues, asked the now American president how, if elected, he was planning to deal with the Taliban’s atrocious treatment of women in Afghanistan, a type of abuse not even closely rivaled by ultra-conservative Saudi Arabia where women can only travel with written permission from the male relatives, and cannot drive automobiles.

The Vogue reporter was not kind in her description of Mr. Bush’s reaction, which pretty much amounted to “Taliban who?”

So yes, while women’s issues can sometimes seem domestic on the surface, they’re a pretty good indication of the inner functioning of a society and what’s wrong with it at a grassroots level.

Sunday, October 08, 2006

And The Winner of the Fashionably Late ARC Is...

Before I go any further, it's my great pleasure to announce that the first person to ever get a corrected, spelling-mistake-free and somewhat typeset version of Fashionably Late (one that I have not even seen yet) is... ZARA HEFLIN!!! Wooo hoooo!!!! That's right, neither Turkey nor Iran are Arab countries at their people speak Turkish and Farsi respectively, and the Turkish (via the Ottoman dynasty) rule dominated Arab (and Greek) societies for many, many centuries and Iranians ascribe to Persian culture. Take a bow Zara. I will also take this opportunity to say I was contemplating offering a get-your-name-in-my-next-book prize to go with the ARC, and as fate would have it, the name 'Zara' is ALREADY IN THE WIP!!! How freaky is that? (don't believe me? Check our Dona Sarkar's blog entry last week, and my comment)

I'd also like send out a massive THANK YOU to all the authors who let me interview them for blog week - thank you so much JoAnn, Wendy, Cathy, Shannon and Jane - I will be referring to your inspirational answers every time I get stuck in my own WIP or on the brink of giving up this writing thing altogether. And thanks to all the winners for sending me their mailing addresses (just need yours, Zara)... you'll be hearing from me soon.

And thanks to all the blog readers who took the time to learn a little bit about the cool things about Arabs, and send me their answers to the daily questions. My dream as a young Arab kid growing up in North America was to do something, even if it was the smallest little thing, was to show that facet of my culture that was good and pure, and that made me proud, in an environment that always made me question, or at least have to justify that pride.

There are as many ways of showing your cultural pride as there are people... some of my cousins have taken the activist route, some have assimilated so well into their adopted countries that they wear their Arab identity as some leaders of the Black community in America wish to wear theirs - not as a way to differentiate themselves from the whole, but as a way to explain that making ANY value judgment on the basis of race/ethnicity/culture is NOT ACCEPTABLE, whether that value judgment is good or bad (see the South Park episode about the 'lynching' flag as a fantastic example of this).

I think I'm somewhere in the middle - I want neither to watch from the outside or integrate into the innermost core. One of my favorite depictions of the Jewish culture was 'The Nanny'. No, not all Jews have big hair, nasal voices, and Uncle Marty's. But c'mon... It's funny, and is sorta, kinda true in an endearing, self-deprecating way. Not all Arab women are vain and wear too much make-up and are out to snag the rich Aran husband (in fact I can't say that any of my good Arab girlfriends fall under this category)... But I challenge anyone who thinks this a totally bogus statement to go to a big Arabic Wedding and say it ain't so...

It's funny, not racist to say that you too, are flawed (if you consider gold brocade and too much make-up to be a flaw, of course...) and to resist self-righteousness. It also allows you a margin of authority when you actually do come out and address something more substantial than poor make-up application skills... like an unjust war that has cost tens of thousands (have we made it to 100,000 yet???) of innocent lives. We live in a global village... it's time to think about the cost of conflict not just to our tiny sliver of the world, but how this conflict is going to affect this Earth that we all share.

And so while Fashionably Late is pretty irreverent about lots of topics (fashion, the Lebanese, Cuban-American relations, Communism, accounting...), I hope more than anything else, that you will find it honest, and maybe, just maybe, a little bit eye-opening.

That's all for today folks. Have a great rest of your weekend!